It’s the day we have waited for for several months.  A day that we hoped would be a lifeline.  A line that would buy us some more time.

It started off with our fitter fitting me a new gas regulator, which  proved to  be short of a part. But it was sorted before we left for london. We have to  ensure louis is comfortable and has water and food,because it’s a long day on his own. Eventually we  got the train tickets. About half an hour into the journey my mobile rang. It was to tell me that my next-door neighbour had been found dead.. Not a good omen I thought. We arrived at St Barts early as usual, we had a bit of lunch before booking in. While we sat waiting the nurse came and greeted mavis  and was all smiles and chatty. But  I had misgivings even before we left home,just a feeling in me water. Soon the call came and in we went. Everything was bubbly and smiles a bit of banter between mavis and the Doctor. He said the biopsy results were in and they were Positive. Now as you will  know from maves blog this pos and neg bit is confusing.  Mave said Ok so I am on the trial then. NO No he said You can’t go on the trial because you do not have the enzyme that we require. Lots of embarrassed banter going on. My head is now spinning. I did expect this result  in the back of my mind  now here it is. What now All this to and fro ing  to london this past few months  for nothing.  Mavis said its bad news then. He said not really  its good news in a way because your tumour  is still at the stage to accept a second line chemo. That should knock it back again. They discussed various chemos , He said he is writing to  KCC and recommending I  am put back on chemo.

So after we left the doctor we walked back to  the  Station each trying to understand the implication of this latest development. No Trial. More Chemo. After a lot of  tossing it between us, we decided that it was good news. Because the trial could not  guarantee any success or even that  we may have received a placebo. Neither of which  was any good to her. Thats  Ok Chemo is crap,  at least we knew it worked last time and gave us  the last 18 months grace. We would be happy for the same again. Thats the positive bit to look forward to.

As we said it’s not times up yet. I tried to sleep on the journey home but so much is running round my head. But  she said although she has been down all week she feels today much better, I said you look much better  today.  As usual she  was not thinking of herself she kept saying sorry  to me  for dragging me through all this. I said dont say sorry to me. If we had to do it again I would do it. Thats what I am here for,to look after you anyway I can.

Now we have to wait for KCC to get  in contact to sort out  visits to oncologist again. In the mean time she is planning  next years holiday . All power to her elbow .

Meanwhile  I am happy for every single hour I get to spend together.