How odd when I think about it. Friends and well wishers  say Oh hello,  hows Mavis today?. I then  usually  give a potted update  of the latest events. But only  do a  few actually ask me, and how are you today. I mean I am not jealous or ought like that but as the other half of this nightmare journey the carer has almost as much pain as the patient.

How often  when I am asked would I liked to respond, I feel ike the earth has landed on my back, crushed and fighting,  instead I say, Me I am ok. Afterall why should I unload my fears onto  them. Could they understand what turmoil  goes on inside. Only  those who have experianced or are in similar situation can understand the loss of a partner can begin to understand. I am not as brave or strong as Mavis. She is the Bravest person I know. She finds the courage to deal with this thing with dignity and has turned this negative into a positive action.

After our long day  at the hospital yesterday mave went to bed early and slept well.  I often wake up and just watch her, I check she is Ok before I can drop off again. waiting and dreaming of the new day dawning another precious day ahead.

I had a chat with my oldest friend today ,we were in the army together and have kept in touch. He  lost his wife last year so he knows where I am at. He asked me about our  hospital visit yesterday. He lovingly said if he had a wand he would gladly wave it over mavis, how nice was that. When ever I have had real bad luck Harry  turns up at my door for a shoulder to lean on. One doesnt get many of them to the pound. But  I am lucky I have some good friends who are behind me..

I thank those who have responded to my first post yesterday and have offered encouragement to continue.